4 feb 2000
Hello again Larry!
I finally actually had five minutes to sit down, and thought I'd fire off a quick missive while I was enjoying the sensation of being stationary. It's quite strange really...but in a nice way. Problem is I've been racing around nonstop for so long now I can't seem to adjust my eyes to this sitting down stuff, and the world feels like it is still spinning around me at a furious rate.
Quick summary of the day:
I first woke up when I heard Kathrin mumbling something, and looked over to see our new dog (Lucy) laying with it's paws on her face, so I jumped up and took the dog out of the room.
Lukas was waiting for me outside because he wanted to go to the beach, but it was only 6:30 a.m. and rainy so I told him we'd wait.
Made breakfast for the two boys, took a quick shower, threw them in the shower, yanked them out of the shower, dressed Eli, dressed myself.
Fed the dog, took her in because it was raining, got on all fours to clean the mud off the carpet that she had tracked in.
Stayed on all fours to clean the mud off the carpet that Eli tracked in after he went hunting for worms.
Put the worms I found on the kitchen table back outside. Washed the table and Eli. Consoled Lukas after he was accidentally bitten by Lucy during some rough play.
Grabbed the boys and drove to Home depot to get exactly one million different things we needed for the house. Finally gave in and bought Lukas another cactus (he always wants cactus). Spent five minutes picking up half a million parts that had fallen out of the holes in the bag that the cactus spines had made. Spent another ten minutes pulling cactus thorns out of my knuckles when I got home...(the cactus thorns had imbedded themselves when I'd shifted into fourth gear on the way home...turns out Lukas thought the console behind the stick shift would be a good place for his cactus.)
Spent an hour making homemade parts for the freestanding basketball hoop...the movers had lost most of them. Finally got the hoop up, only to watch it come crashing down on our car because I'd forgotten to put ballast in the stand.
Took Lukas, Eli and Lucy for a hike in the Santa Monica Mountains (right behind our house). Consoled Lukas after he was bitten by a potbellied pig he'd tried to pet through a fence. Kept tripping all over each other because Eli and Lukas both insisted on holding Lucy's leash, and Eli also insisted on simultaneously holding my pant-leg because of "mountain lions." Spent most of the hike untangling the leash from between our collective legs. Am sure the '"mountain lions" appreciated having their meal all tied together and prepackaged like that.
Made it home, and ran to the auto store to get headlamps for the third time this month. Also bought epoxy for the small hole I'd finally found in the headlight that had been allowing water in to short the lamps. Also bought new windshield wiper to replace the one that had come flying off during a late night drive through the mountains during our first rain. Also bought antihistamines to fight the cold I'd picked up while driving through the rain with my head stuck out the window. I told the auto parts dealer they should carry antihistamines, and should put them right next to the windshield wipers.
Fixed the car.
Shoveled all of the sand (four garbage cans full) out of Eli's sandbox so I could move the sandbox out of the way of the garage. Grumbled at Kathrin and Eli and Lukas after they sat down to drink lemonade and watch me shovel sand. Grumbled even louder when they laughed at me and told me I should sing "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen." Moved the sandbox and refilled it with the sand.
Told Eli to stay away from the fungus and worms my moving of the sandbox had uncovered. Went inside to wash up and use the restroom. Went to the kitchen for a snack. Decided I wasn't really so hungry after spying the worms Eli had in the mean time put on the kitchen table.
Consoled Lukas after he was accidentally bitten by Eli, who'd just wanted a bite out of Lukas's quesadilla. Cleaned kitchen. Spent 20 minutes hunting Eli down, who had gone into deep camouflage when I mentioned it was bath time. Wrestled him into the bath. Wrestled him out of the bath when he decided he didn't want to come out.
As of now, they are all still awake, and it's almost 9:30.
Send reinforcements.
Charles
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Letter written to my missionary son on August 25th of last year on the subject of pain, suffering and love:
Lukas the Firstborn:
About my feelings for the human race.......
There is often love...of that much I am certain. Boundless effusions of kindness, of joy in the being of another human child, of gratitude and solace in the knowledge that a consciousness like mine, and other consciousness, have shaken off the eerie circumstances of their birth, and courageously put a shoulder to the wheel and started turning. Through the slings and arrows of childhood, over the fears and worries of young adulthood, through the pestilences and injuries of old age. They all, humbly, and meekly, and bulging with the can-do ardor of their father, even God, stumbled and lurched and sometimes even crawled fitfully through their demon days on earth.
The pain I sense in any other is often an evisceration of my own hope--the loneliness that howls like a cold northern wind through the skeletal hollows of a fellow traveler can be too much to bear, And so many of them! How lord do we survive the agony of our own condition isolated from thy home .....no less bear the agony accrued as we walk through the rest of us and observe the sadness that is everywhere?. How, father, is the groaning planet of own epiphany of sin, of anger and resentment and missed opportunities, to be stayed from rolling back on us, grinding our bones to dust and puncturing our eyes from our sockets, where they come to rolling random stops staring blankly at thy creation,.
Love of course binds all things, Love heals all things, And most important of all, love vanquishes all devils, inner and outer. When some of the church fumble awkwardly at the pretense of love, they commit apostasy. It is that simple, Love is delivered as a fearless arrow or not at all: counterfeit love burns the lips as it crosses into audition. Love has no fear—not of foreigners, not of terrorists, and of course not of sinners. Love is antithetical to fear—all beings wash anew in the water of love., Even terrorists can be transformed like Paul the terrorist into the absolute energy current of all that is good in God.
Such is the sanctification of the members when we are truly ready for translation.....when love drives all determinations and fear drives none. When our humility beneath Gods ‘both quantum and behemoth wisdom lets us simply be.....and simply love.
Follow the mystical root of the Hindi, who never ridiculed the blind who were so adamantly insisting on performing the ghosts and reflections of nonsense in their daily lives.....for even the ignorant are holy, in that they so passionately engage in the distraction we were meant to have here, and they do it well. Like the rare actors who become exactly what they pretend to be, and do it for the sake of the drama that MUST be played out, in Hindu mysticism it is the playing out of the drama that is holy—and includes everything—the commiserating arm of a friend around the shoulder, the finger stiffened arrogantly out of the cabdrivers window, the inability to find that part you need at the hardware store: all of these things are vitally important in the god-inspired drama of our lives. We should only smile, and try and make people aware that by getting too enmeshed in the details, they never have time to stand back and marvel at the god damn wonder of the whole thing. Excuse my language....but I could find no other expression that even marginally transmits the awe-strike of it all—the downright holy-to-tears rightness of the whole thing.
In the words of Arthur C. Clarke's Dr David Bowan: My god it is beautiful!
Dad
Lukas the Firstborn:
About my feelings for the human race.......
There is often love...of that much I am certain. Boundless effusions of kindness, of joy in the being of another human child, of gratitude and solace in the knowledge that a consciousness like mine, and other consciousness, have shaken off the eerie circumstances of their birth, and courageously put a shoulder to the wheel and started turning. Through the slings and arrows of childhood, over the fears and worries of young adulthood, through the pestilences and injuries of old age. They all, humbly, and meekly, and bulging with the can-do ardor of their father, even God, stumbled and lurched and sometimes even crawled fitfully through their demon days on earth.
The pain I sense in any other is often an evisceration of my own hope--the loneliness that howls like a cold northern wind through the skeletal hollows of a fellow traveler can be too much to bear, And so many of them! How lord do we survive the agony of our own condition isolated from thy home .....no less bear the agony accrued as we walk through the rest of us and observe the sadness that is everywhere?. How, father, is the groaning planet of own epiphany of sin, of anger and resentment and missed opportunities, to be stayed from rolling back on us, grinding our bones to dust and puncturing our eyes from our sockets, where they come to rolling random stops staring blankly at thy creation,.
Love of course binds all things, Love heals all things, And most important of all, love vanquishes all devils, inner and outer. When some of the church fumble awkwardly at the pretense of love, they commit apostasy. It is that simple, Love is delivered as a fearless arrow or not at all: counterfeit love burns the lips as it crosses into audition. Love has no fear—not of foreigners, not of terrorists, and of course not of sinners. Love is antithetical to fear—all beings wash anew in the water of love., Even terrorists can be transformed like Paul the terrorist into the absolute energy current of all that is good in God.
Such is the sanctification of the members when we are truly ready for translation.....when love drives all determinations and fear drives none. When our humility beneath Gods ‘both quantum and behemoth wisdom lets us simply be.....and simply love.
Follow the mystical root of the Hindi, who never ridiculed the blind who were so adamantly insisting on performing the ghosts and reflections of nonsense in their daily lives.....for even the ignorant are holy, in that they so passionately engage in the distraction we were meant to have here, and they do it well. Like the rare actors who become exactly what they pretend to be, and do it for the sake of the drama that MUST be played out, in Hindu mysticism it is the playing out of the drama that is holy—and includes everything—the commiserating arm of a friend around the shoulder, the finger stiffened arrogantly out of the cabdrivers window, the inability to find that part you need at the hardware store: all of these things are vitally important in the god-inspired drama of our lives. We should only smile, and try and make people aware that by getting too enmeshed in the details, they never have time to stand back and marvel at the god damn wonder of the whole thing. Excuse my language....but I could find no other expression that even marginally transmits the awe-strike of it all—the downright holy-to-tears rightness of the whole thing.
In the words of Arthur C. Clarke's Dr David Bowan: My god it is beautiful!
Dad
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
ode to progeny
So here's the thing....
My firstborn son has extracted under oath a promise from me: I would venture into the blogosphere once more. In return he has promised to relent from badgering, cajoling, pleading or even telegraphing a shard of contempt towards me for as long as I abide by the agreement.
Lukas...if you are reading this: I did get up at 6am to write. I did put this abbreviated post to the keyboard. I did intend to write more, but realized the alarm was about to wake your fitfully and poorly rested mother because she planned to take the car to the dealer. Out of love I did it instead. Out of love....
So you are only allowed one-half a disdain plus perhaps a single micro-smidgen of disappointment. Love, I think you would agree, is at least a passable excuse.......
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